Happy New Year, Happy New You...

Happy New Year Everyone.

I'd like to say that I did something very exciting to rush in the new year in Beijing like sleeping outside at the Great Wall and watching the sun rise in 2009 before North Americans did. Sadly, I came down with a cold the day of my cooking course and was lame and outta commission for most of my holiday. Bummed out and mucousy, I spent the night reflecting on 2007-8, a very tumultuous and intense time in my life, while trying not to have a nervous breakdown about the prospects of 2009.

While everyone older than me can calmly state, "You're young, travel now," I am starting to feel that swift push towards middle age with every shrivelling egg and gray hair that I find. I fear I am on my way to becoming an old lady with cats, minus the cats thanks to an adoption attempt in the fall that didn't work out. Now all I need to do is take up knitting again, join Lavalife, and live in my parents' basement in the middle of nowhere. There is a short window of time after uni when quarter-life crises abound, yet being penniless and without a career path is acceptable. Then, in the blink of a hangover-induced crusty eye, you find yourself alone, with the prospect of cats, a mountain of debt and a bitter chip, nay block, upon your ever-fattening shoulder. Not only does the debt seem to increase, but so do the number of grays, wrinkles, exes, enemies, jean sizes, and false hopes. And to top it all off, you probably wake up to friends that are in pre-marital bliss, playing home in their new Toronto condo palaces or enjoying that wonderful period of engagement, toting rocks and glowing hearts. I now ask myself every day, "What the hell happened to me?!" and "Where the hell am I going besides a quick trip to the bitter farm?!"

One would think that the Fengshui in Asia would sort a girl out but sadly, this chick is too hard to crack. You can go around the world and still have to face your demons, only in translation. And while handling things that are ridiculously difficult overseas only helps to make things ridiculously easy when returning home, I'm starting to wonder what kind of damage all this does to one's nerves. They say one "trick" is to face your fears but how much fear is normal? And can you ever really change that much? We talk about it in terms of leopards and animals that don't change their spots, usually referring to my exes--uh, I mean men who cheat--but I can't help but think that I will never really change. Sure, I can leave the house without day-long pep talks like I required through most of my younger days, and I can eat bananas and hard-boiled eggs, but I'm still a fearful girl clinging to the leg of anyone that I can find, more than willing to let you talk for me.

I am now in month 5 of my 10-month contract in Beijing and am trying to decide what to do next. I am now strongly considering (about 70% decided) Japan as the next stop on my Glutton for Punishment fear tour. So now, I am frantically trying to "get shit done" and see China before I leave--I've still not left Beijing and barely seen any of the city for that matter. If I leave I plan on coming back with a backpack and camera full of memory. If you know me, you also know that I am as flighty as can be, a true carrier of my nickname "Cindy so Windy," and will probably change my mind with my underwear tomorrow. However, for the time being that is what I am pondering.
On my itinerary for things to see in China before I leave are:
-the rest of Beijing including Temple of Heaven, Tianamen (I know, silly that I haven't stood and taken pics yet), Forbidden City, see an opera in the Egg
-Datong and the Hanging Monastery, plus the grottoes nearby if time allows
-Terracotta Warriors in Xi'an (a weekend any time)
-Harbin Snow Fest (hopefully Feb. 13-15)
-Inner Mongolia desert trip and camel/jeep tour (hopefully May 1st-3rd)
-Guilin gum drop mountains
-all of Yunnan province (maybe during Chinese New Year)
-Shanghai
-etc, etc!!!
-I also want to go to Taipei. Not sure why, but I've wanted to go since Korea and would like to actually get to do it.

SIGH. Tough life, such hard decisions. What's a girl to do?!
I can order anything in Beijing and pretty much make whatever I want happen...now if I could only find Dial-a-mate...dial-a-raise...dial-a-beneficiary...